This content is intended for mature audiences.Sign In To Confirm Your Age
or, enter your birth date.
King Hades held Link up by the collar. “You bastard!” he hissed, his face only an inch from Link’s. “I have half a mind to beat you to a pulp right now!”
This old man? Link thought to himself.
First Pit came and called Link out, threatening him to duel him and avenge Jade, and now King Hades. Marth stepped in before things could get ugly. “Look, Your Majesty, like it or not, Jade betrayed Link. She will live the rest of her life with that shame.”
Hades growled, “Thanks to you two villains, she won’t.”
Link tilted his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean she’s DEAD!” King Hades answered loud and clear.
After Hades told and Link and Marth of Jade’s death, Thanatos soon arrived with Snake and Ganon, both tied up.
“Tell them the truth!” Thanatos bellowed, tossing the two minions in front of the three noblemen.
Snake grunted while trying to regain his balance. “Ike used us to help him try to get between you and Jade.” Snake confessed to Link. Snake’s words pierced the blonde soldier’s heart like needles to a pin cushion.
Ganon added, “It’s true.”
Link couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He felt like his body was crushed with a thousand pounds of lead all at once. He felt the color flush from his face, and like he was going to faint. “S-so wait…” Link struggled to utter, “Wh-What did you do?”
“Ike had us sabotage your marriage with the princess.” Snake repeated himself. “I had Samus dress up in Jade’s clothes and Ike brought you close enough to Jade’s bedroom window so you’d think that Jade was cheating on you.”
“And I helped weave the lie that Marth was taking Jade for himself at the dance.” Ganon confessed.
Link felt weighted by the millions of emotions that flooded his body at all at once. Link fell to his knees, clutching his chest. The anger boiled under his skin. The confusion swirled around in his skull. But most of all, the guilt crushed him and clawed at him from the inside out. “What have I done?” Link whispered.
While Link was devastated, Hades was enraged. You could practically cook an egg on his head. The King stooped down and wrenched the villains’ throats, holding them in a relentless grip, choking them. The others watching the King were absolutely mortified.
The Prince wrapped himself around Hades, trying desperately to pull him away. “YOUR MAJESTY, PLEASE STOP!!!” Marth cried out, trying to pull the angry king away. But his efforts were in vain. The King wouldn’t move.
King Hades bellowed with venom, “How dare you!” He wasn’t himself. He enjoyed seeing Snake and Ganon struggle and writhe under his grip. Their faces were starting to turn from red to blue.
When it seemed like Hades would finish them off, he let go, tossing them aside. “What’s done is done. And you two aren’t the only ones to blame.” King Hades glared at Link and Marth. Then he turned back to Snake and Ganon. “I will see to it that you two suffer for this. Including Ike. Where is the bastard anyway?”
“He fled Greecia this morning. He’s probable half way around the world by now.” Ganon said after gasping for breath.
Hades kicked the ground. “DAMN HIM!!! Take these men to prison. We will deal with them later!!!” Hades bellowed, frustration boiling in his voice. After the minions were taken away Hades sighed, trying to calm down.
Link got down on his knees and clutched the fabric of Hades’ trousers. “Oh Your Majesty, King Hades, please forgive my absolute stupidity. There are no words to describe how awful I feel and how wrong I was. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me.” For the first time in a long while, Link felt tears well up in his eyes.
Hades gave Link a half smile. Link’s guilt amused the King. He was glad that Link felt bad but it wasn’t over yet. “If you truly want me to accept your apologies, then you will proclaim Jade’s innocence throughout my kingdom and write an epitaph on her tomb. You will also keep your promise of marrying into my family. My brother has a daughter who’s nearly identical to Jade. If you marry my niece and write the epitaph, I will consider you back in my good graces.”
Link stood up straight and bowed. “Oh thank you so much Your Majesty. I promise I will spread the word of Jade’s innocence until I lose my voice and to write an epitaph worthy for Jade. Down to the last letter.” Link promised with all his heart.
Pit was humming a tune, thinking of words to a song that he could write to Calpurnia, but the only problem was that he couldn’t read, and by extent, couldn’t write. The angel sighed and said, “I should learn how to read and write. All girls like poems don’t they? So maybe if I wrote a poem for Calpurnia she would like it? Maybe?” Pit thought aloud.
“I’ve always preferred action over words.” Calpurnia walked in. She laughed at Pit’s surprised expression.
“H-how long have you been standing there?” Pit asked, trying to hide his embarrassment.
“Long enough.” The silver-haired princess responded. “Have you challenged Link? Have you avenged my poor sister yet?”
“No I haven’t, but I made it clear that he was wrong. We will fight, that’s for sure.”
“If you say so, but the sooner you fight him, the sooner all will be right.”
“Is that what you truly believe?”
“YES!” Calpurnia shouted. “If I said it once I said it a thousand times! Link threw my sister away like garbage and he will suffer the same way. A life for a life!” she exclaimed. Her fists were clenched so tightly that they turned white.
Pit sighed and placed his hand on Calpurnia shoulder. “I promise I will duel Link. I love you. I want to show you that I love you.” The angel pulled the princess closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. He leaned closer. Pit whispered, “Let me replace your foul mouth with kisses…”
“YOUR HIGHNESS!!!” Peach ran into the courtyard, finding the elder princess in the arms of the angelic solider. “There is no need to weep anymore! YOUR SISTER HAS BEEN PROVEN INNOCENT!!!” she exclaimed with tears of joy brimming in her eyes. “Please come quickly!” And just as quickly as she came, Peach left.
Calpurnia turned to back to Pit, “Will you join me?”
“Of course, Calpurnia.”
Late at night, Link, the Lords, and his fellow warriors walked through the hills to the family tomb with only lanterns and candles to light their way through the darkness.
Once at the iron gates of the Discordio family tomb, heavy-hearted Link hung the epitaph that he worked so hard on right in plain view.
Link cleared his tight throat. He tried to honor Jade without crying his eyes out. “Here lies Jade, the heroic maiden killed by slanderous words. To repay her for her troubles and reveal my unredeemable crime, Death gives her undying fame. So the life that died with shame lives on with fame.” Link read from his handwritten excerpt. He briefly turned to the other people that came to pay their respects to Jade. “This epitaph will hang here forever, continuing to praise Jade after I die. Now start the music, and sing with me.” The blonde solider said before turning around to face the iron gates again.
Link and the other patrons joined their voices together to sing in the name of Princess Jade.
“Please pardon, goddess of the night,
The men who killed your virgin knight.
These men now walk around her tomb,
Singing songs of woe.
Oh, midnight, join our moaning
Help us with our sighs and groaning.
Graves, open up and release your corpses
Until Jade’s death is fully mourned.”
Link wiped away the tears and tried to contain his sobs. His cheeks were hot and moist, his chest felt tight and the pain dug deep into his soul. “Jade… nothing can redeem me, but I will sing to you every night. No matter how far away or how weak I am, I will come here and sing to you.” The blonde knight sobbed softly.
The hours went on, but Link was the last one to leave. The only reason why he left was so he could have enough sleep for tomorrow’s wedding. If he could’ve, he would’ve stayed longer.
The next morning came, before the wedding King Hades and Poseidon met with the Friar and all of the women who were a part of the wedding.
The Friar gave Hades a pat on the back. “Didn’t I tell you Jade was innocent?”
“You were right.” The King admitted. “It turns out that Samus had no idea she was being used for the scandal. And as soon as Ike comes back, he will be punished along with his minions.” He turned to the women and gave them instructions before they got into their positions. “When you all come out make sure you’re wearing your masks.”
It wasn’t long before Link, Prince Marth, and Benedick entered the temple for the ceremony.
Link bowed to King Hades and Poseidon. “Good Morning your Majesties.”
“Good morning Link. Do you come here to keep your promise?” Hades asked.
“Then stand before the Friar.”
Shortly after Link was ready all the masked women entered the temple. One woman stood in front of Link while the others lined up to the side.
“Is this the woman that I’m going to marry?” Link asked. “Please let me see your face.” He said reaching for the mask’s edge.
Before Link could lift the mask Hades stopped him. “Wait! You aren’t allowed to see her face until you promise to be her husband.” Link nodded in response, understanding what he had to do.
Link turned to face his new bride and held out his hand. “I will be your husband, if you will have me.” The masked bride took Link’s hand without hesitation and nodded, accepting Link’s proposal.
The Friar smiled and handed Link and the masked bride the rings. The bride placed the golden band on Link’s ring finger and gave his hand a quick affectionate squeeze. Link then did the same for his bride. He lifted her hand and gave it a kiss.
“When I lived, I was your other wife.” The woman slid off her mask, her red bangs falling in front of her purple eyes. It was Jade!
Link’s jaw dropped, his heart leapt for joy. He couldn’t believe it. “ANOTHER JADE!!!?” he cried out as he passionately embraced the Princess that was thought to be dead.
Jade giggled and embraced Link in her arms, stroking his back for comfort. She could feel his hot tears drip onto her shoulder. “The one and only, my solider.” Jade kissed his forehead. “And innocent of my supposed crimes.”
“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me.” Link said. “I’m more than sorry about what I did.”
“I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t forgive you, dummy.” Jade giggled. “I’m only a little angry. But I know you’ll make it up to me.”
“In full and with interest.” Link said before leaning down to passionately kiss his new wife. All the guests applauded and cheered for the new couple.
As the guests stood up and exited to the temple’s courtyard for the reception Pit looked for Calpurnia. “Which one is Calpurnia?” he asked the masked maidens.
One of them came forward, “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” she said, taking off the mask.
Pit walked up to Calpurnia and asked, “Do you love me?”
Calpurnia’s face felt hot. She felt everyone’s eyes burning on her skin. She felt so awkward and vulnerable. “Why, no more than reason.” She said calmly. She could hear some of the onlookers snicker.
Pit felt a little shocked. “Then it appears that your dad, the Prince, and Link have been deceived. They swore you did.”
Calpurnia was surprised to hear that. She shook her head in disbelief. “Then do you love me?”
“Why no more than reason.” Pit said in a sassy mocking tone. More laughter arose from the guests.
Calpurnia huffed, “Well, then my sister and Samus have been deceived because they swore that you did!”
“They swore that you screamed in agony for me!” Pit said.
Calpurnia responded, “They swore that you died on the inside for me!”
“Then I guess it was all a lie, and that we don’t like each other!”
“No, I guess we don’t!”
Link stepped in between the princess and the angel. “WAIT! Calm down!” he shouted over them. “I know for a fact that Pit loves you Calpurnia.” Then within a blink of an eye Link reached into Pit’s pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “Last night Pit went to Palutena to help write a poem for you.”
While Calpurnia was distracted by Link and Pit fighting for the paper, Jade snuck behind Calpurnia and pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. “And if I recall correctly my dearest sister was up last night writing out her feelings for Captain Pit.” Jade mocked in a sing-song tone.
Before the angel and the princess could take them back they were handed the papers from each other. “Each paper was written with true emotion. With true love for one another.” Link said.
Pit and Calpurnia both wanted to return the papers, but they were curious. Pit couldn’t read so he observed Calpurnia’s reactions to the words he had written for her. At first, her face showed obvious disbelief with her furrowed brow and her lips that were not a frown nor a smile. But as she got to the bottom, her expression lightened up, and her cheeks bore a rosy pink hue. When Calpurnia finished reading the poem she folded it up neatly. The silver-haired princess felt touched by the words written on the paper. “Did you really mean the words that are on this paper?”
“If I could read and write, I would have written every word myself.” Pit answered honestly. He bashfully rubbed the back of his neck, “What does yours say?”
Calpurnia cleared her throat, “It says, ‘I never thought that an extraordinary goofball like you could love a plain, hotheaded psycho like me. Even after all the horrible things I said to you. I love you too, Pit.’” Calpurnia read. “That’s how I honestly feel.”
Those who heard Calpurnia’s words went “Aaaww.” Including Link and Jade. Pit walked up to Calpurnia and wrapped his arms around her waist. “It’s a miracle.” He laughed softly. “Will you marry me?” he nervously asked.
Calpurnia smiled and wrapped her arms around Pit’s neck. “Only if you’ll marry me for me, and not out of pity.” She answered.
“Stop saying such ridiculous things,” Pit leaned in closer, their faces only an inch apart, “and kiss me, please.”
When Pit and Calpurnia lightly and briefly kissed everyone applauded like they had done when Jade and Link were married.
“So Pit, how does it feel to be a married man?” Prince Marth asked.
“Strange but nice.” Pit answered. “You look a little sad. You should get a wife too.” The angel patted the prince on the back.
Before the royalty, the soldiers, and the servants good go have fun two guards carrying someone wrapped in chains. “Prince Marth, we have captured Ike!” One of the guards said to the blue-haired prince.
Pit stepped forward. “Prince Marth, don’t worry about him until tomorrow. I’ll think of a proper punishment for Ike. But for now, let’s celebrate!”
And so, Ike, Ganon, and Snake stayed in the dungeon while everyone else partied at the reception. Once it was over, the three villains received their punishments.
But most importantly, Jade and Link, and Pit and Calpurnia began their new lives together.
But that’s another story.
Everyone gathered at the temple for the wedding. Everyone was smiling and bustling with excitement. Except for Link and Marth. Ike was smiling, but for all the wrong reasons.
As the bride and groom stood at the altar, the Friar cleared his throat. “Princess Jade, do you come forth to marry this warrior?”
The princess blushed and smiled. “I do.”
“And Sir Link, do you come forth to marry this princess?” the friar asked.
Link turned to the friar. He and Jade saw the look on Link’s face. They expected Link’s face to be nearly identical to Jade’s, but instead he looked grumpy. Link cleared his throat. “Only if she answers one question truthfully.”
Jade tilted her head. “What is it?”
The blonde soldier turned to the princess, his face filled with anger boiling under the surface. “Who was in your bedroom last night?” Link hissed.
Jade was caught completely off guard by his question. “What!?”
“Last night. Who was in your bedroom with you!?” he repeated with a more intense fire.
Jade felt awful for being accused. She was telling the truth. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was asleep all night!”
“LIES!” Link shouted. “I saw you with another man at your bedroom window. It was loud and clear, clear as crystal. I saw everything!”
Jade was just getting more and more upset and confused. “What!!?”
Marth stepped in. “Let me explain. We saw Jade hook up with an unknown man last night. We saw and heard everything. She is unfaithful and dirty.” The prince said plainly.
Ike supported them, “It’s true.”
Link continued to look at Jade with hatred and rage. “You lewd woman! How could you!? ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT!!”
Jade felt hot tears trail down her cheeks and her chest tighten up. “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!” she shouted back.
Link pointed his finger at her. “Not only are you a slut, you are also a liar!” Link turned to the friar. “I will not marry this woman! In fact, I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO HER EVER AGAIN!!!” his proclamation echoed through the temple.
At that moment, Jade’s heart shattered into a million pieces. She felt like all the life drained from her in that instant. She saw the world go black and her body succumbed to gravity.
Calpurnia called out Jade’s name in distress as she stooped down to catch her unconscious sister. “JADE! JADE! JADE! WAKE UP! PLEASE!!!” Calpurnia frantically tried to revive her sister, Pit and Hades came by her side to help.
As that was going on, Link, Marth and Ike began to take their leave. “Let’s get out of here.” Ike said, patting Link on the shoulder for comfort.
After the majority of people had left the friar checked up on the others. “How’s Jade.”
The elder sister had tears in her eyes. “I-I-I t-think she’s d-d…” Calpurnia choked before she started full out crying. She wrapped her arms around her sister, expressing her deepest sorrow.
“Well she’s better off dead. Don’t open your eyes you shameful woman.” Hades spat. His heart was broken, he also felt disgusted. “I’m ashamed to call you my daughter!” Hades was going to slap his younger daughter’s unconscious body but Calpurnia shielded her sister and received the stinging blow to the back. The pain of the slap was a caress of a summer breeze compared to the pain of her sister’s death that ripped and tortured her heart. Hades turned his head, too disgusted to even bare to look at Jade. “Even all the waters of all the oceans can’t wash away your filth.” he choked.
Just then, Jade’s seemingly lifeless body began to stir. The princess that was presumed to be dead slowly opened her eyes and sat up. Calpurnia laughed and cried, feeling absolutely overjoyed. “SHE’S ALIVE!!!!” Calpurnia snuggly embraced her sister as she was rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
As Calpurnia helped her sister to her feet, Pit went over to the friar. “Look, I don’t really know what happened, but I know something isn’t right.” He said. The friar nodded in agreement. “I knew nothing about this. And Marth and Link tell me EVERYTHING. They are both honorable and trustworthy. But I can’t say the same about Ike.”
“What you’re saying does make sense.” The friar said.
Pit continued. “Something is up. And hopefully things will get better.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” The friar turned to Jade. “Young Lady, do you, with all your heart, speak the truth?”
“With every fiber of my being. And if I’m lying, may I be struck down by lightning right here and now!” She cried out with confidence. “I would never betray anyone like that.”
Calpurnia defended her sister, “It’s true! I was with her all night!”
Hades groaned, rubbing his temple. “I want to believe it, but I just…”
“My King, I have an idea to make it all right.” The friar said. “If we say Jade is dead, then Link will realize how much wrong he did, and how much he really loves her.”
The idea was crazy. Everyone was slightly skeptical of it. The King was hesitant most of all. “But what if it doesn’t work? I have a reputation to uphold.” Hades huffed.
“If the plan doesn’t work, then you can send her to a Nunnery.” The friar answered.
Hades nodded. “This is crazy, but it might work. I’ll go tell them of Jade’s death.” With that, the King left the temple.
The friar, Peach, and Samus escorted Jade back to the palace. “Come, Princess Jade, die to live.”
“Very well,” the red-haired princess sighed, “are you coming sister?” she called to Calpurnia.
The silver-haired princess called over her shoulder. “I’ll be there soon. I’m gonna help clean up.”
“And I’m going to help too.” Pit added. The two servant girls smiled, and despite Jade’s predicament, so was she, and they all waved goodbye.
After everyone was gone, the whole temple fell silent. The only sounds that could be heard were the pads of footsteps, the rustling of decorations, and the sound of pounding hearts beating in their ears.
Calpurnia tried to avoid eye contact with Pit for two reasons. One was that she couldn’t stop crying.
Pit saw a dower vibe in Calpurnia’s presence. He wanted to talk to her, but didn’t know how to start. He knew what he wanted, he wanted to cheer her up. “Calpurnia, are you still crying?”
“Yes I am!” she snapped. “And I will cry more.”
Pit gently placed a hand on Calpurnia’s shoulder. “I feel like Jade has been falsely accused too.”
Calpurnia wiped a tear from her cheek. “If only I had a man who could help me clear her name.”
Pit raised an eyebrow. “Can you really show such affection for another man?”
“Only if he truly loves me, which means probably not you.” Calpurnia sighed. She took a few steps away from him to go do something else when he stopped her.
“Well this might sound crazy to you, but out of all the things I truly love…” Pit trailed of. Calpurnia turned around, walked a couple of steps closer and noticed that his cheeks were rosy pink. Pit looked into Calpurnia’s eyes and said, “I love you.”
Calpurnia felt her heart skip a beat. She could feel the heat under her skin as well. “I don’t know what to say. I’m feeling so many emotions. But the only one I can say for sure is that I am sorry for my sister, and that my heart feels lighter, despite this grim situation.”
Pit sported a goofy grin, “By Queen Palutena’s light, you do love me!”
Calpurnia crossed her arms and adverted eye contact with Pit. “I swear or deny nothing.” She blushed.
Pit stepped towards Calpurnia and gently held her hands. “But I will swear that I love you.”
“Oh Gods help me.” The silver haired princess whispered, but it was loud enough for Pit to hear.
Pit asked, “What?”
“I think I love you too.” She said bashfully.
“Then say it with all your heart.”
Calpurnia had nothing more in her heart to say. She already said what was there. “It is so honest, that there is nothing more to say.”
“I know what you can say. I want to prove my love for you. Just say what I can do to show how much you mean to me, to what lengths I would go for you.” Pit wrapped Calpurnia in a tender embrace. “What can I do to prove my love?”
“Kill Link.” She bellowed.
“EXCUSE ME!!!” Pit squeaked, clearly shocked.
“I said ‘Kill Link.’”
“Not for all the floor ice cream in the world!!!”
“Then did you lie to me? Did you or did you not say that you would do anything to prove that you love me?” Calpurnia took a couple of steps away from Pit which slowly evolved into taking the first steps into walking away.
Pit outstretched his hand, “Wait Calpurnia!”
“Forget it. It’s pretty clear that you don’t truly love me.”
“Calpurnia- can’t we still be friends?” Pit shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t want to not be a part of her life completely.
“You’d rather be friends with me then fight my enemy?”
“Damn straight! He’s a stupid pig who dare dishonor and insult my sister! NOT TO MENTION HE JUST LEFT HER FOR DEAD WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!!! If only I were a man, then I would be able to make him pay.” Calpurnia clenched her fists.
“If I only was a man I would beat his villainous ass to a bruised, broken, bloody pulp, tear off his limbs with my bear hands, rip out his insides, and smear his blood all over the wall.”
“Yeah, but Calpurnia-”
“Oh my dearest sister, Jade! I have lived by her since birth, she would never betray anyone!! She has been wronged!!!” Calpurnia’s scream echoed through the temple.
“If only I had the power of a man!!!! Or at least a man, someone who truly would do anything for me, who would go and avenge my sister!!!!!!!!” Calpurnia took a deep breath. She held a golden locket in her palm. The princess opened it to look at a picture of her sister and herself together. “But wishing will get me nowhere, and I will die a woman, a powerless one.”
“Calpurnia, I do truly love you, and I swear by it.” Pit spoke with all his heart.
Calpurnia spat, “Do something more profound and useful then swearing by it.”
Pit sighed. “Do you really think Link has wronged Jade?”
“With every pissed off fiber of my being.” She hissed.
Pit took Calpurnia’s hand his right hand. “With this hand, I will stand by you. And with the other, I will challenge Link to a battle.” Pit kissed the elder princess’ hand and stood upright. “Go comfort you sister, I will tell them that Jade is dead, and will see that Link pays his dues.”
Meanwhile, Thanatos held a trial for Snake and Ganon. They both confessed that they agreed to help Ike sabotage Link and Jade’s attempts to get together. The two villains are both bound and taken to King Hades.
Read the previous Chapter: Much Ado About Nothing: Act/Chapter 3
Start at the beginning: Much Ado About Nothing: Act/Chapter 1
Stay tuned for the next chapter.
Unknown to Calpurnia, King Hades and Prince Marth had told Jade and Samus about their plan to get Pit and Calpurnia together.
The girls were more than on board and offered to help in any way they could.
The plan was identical, Jade and Samus would stage a conversation for Calpurnia to overhear.
When Jade and Samus were approaching the bedroom they made sure that Calpurnia could hear them coming.
Calpurnia heard Jade and Samus coming down the hall. She quickly closed her book and stood up.
I’m SO not dealing with Jade’s stupid giddy giggling and endless sap, Calpurnia thought in disgust.
She knew she couldn’t just leave or she would be seen and surely be pulled into a conversation. She knew she had to hide. The quickest convenient spot was in the closet.
Unfortunately for Calpurnia, but fortunately for Jade and Samus, they heard Calpurnia shut the closet door.
“Now’s our chance.” Jade whispered to Samus who nodded in agreement.
Samus got the ball rolling. “Now are you sure what you heard is completely true?” she asked in a slightly disturbed voice.
The red haired princess responded, “Of course. I heard it from Link himself, and he’s Pit’s closest friend.” Jade placed convincing fake evidence.
Samus rubbed her temple. “I can’t believe it. The little angel boy is truly in love with Calpurnia.”
Calpurnia’s eyes widened in shock.
Jade said, “I know right? Even if I try to convince him to abandon his passion, it will most likely not sway him.” She sighed sadly.
“Why would you do that?” Samus asked in a curious tone.
“Because if Calpurnia found out about his love, she would more than likely reject him. Or even worse, make a sport out of it. You’ve seen how cold she can be, right?” Jade said sympathetically.
“That’s true… Are you absolutely sure what you heard is true?”
“I’m positive. Link would never lie to me, and he has known Pit for years. Surely the angel would confess to him about everything.” The princess justified.
Samus sighed, “Well, you can’t argue with that.”
“Even if I told Calpurnia to soften up she would just make fun of me.” Jade pouted.
“Oh well, I guess all we can do is sit back and watch whatever unfolds.”
After both of them finished the fake conversation they went back to present events. “So Jade, what dress are you gonna wear to the wedding?” the blonde servant asked.
“I actually have it in Calpurnia’s room. I asked her to make one for me. The last time I checked she was making good progress on it. I can’t wait to show you. So far it looks lovely.” Jade happily described the dress to Samus as they left to go check it out.
When they were gone, Calpurnia got out of the closet she quickly but quietly scurried down the hall and hid around a corner.
She made sure that she was far enough away from Jade and Samus so they couldn’t hear her.
Calpurnia felt a little light headed. She also felt the burning heat of her blush glowing on her face.
“He actually loves me? ME!? After all the awful things we say to each other!?” Calpurnia placed her hand over her heart.
She could feel it pounding in her chest. “It has to be true. Link would never lie to my sister.”
The silver haired princess thought long and hard, thinking of how it might be a trick or not.
“Whether it’s a sport for Pit’s amusement, or a rumor, or a trick made by my sister, I have to go along with it. If my sister is trying to trick me, and I find out, and I’ll have a reason to get back at her. If it’s just a rumor, I’ll find out soon. But if Pit really loves me… NO! He’s just playing with me. But I don’t want to seem like a totally heartless bitch if he really IS in love me or not. Either way, I’ll play along.” Calpurnia then went to go meet with her sister in her room, pretending like she never heard them.
She wanted nothing but to erase the conversation from her memory.
King Hades, Prince Marth, and Sir Link were talking about the marriage when Pit walked in and joined them.
They all noticed that he looked different. He is normally a positive person, but today he seemed like he was glowing.
Not only that, he noticeably smelled different.
“Good morning guys.” Pit chirped.
Link nodded, “It must be. You look different.”
“I feel different.” The angel confirmed. “I feel great, actually.”
The King smiled, “Did you take a bath?” Everyone laughed heartedly, except for Pit.
“Oh ha ha ha, very funny.” The angel responded sarcastically. “I always take baths. I just decided to do something different today.”
“And that difference would be…” Link rolled his hand in a gesture, waiting for Pit’s response.
“Using scented soap.” Pit finished the sentence. Everyone else burst out laughing.
After Prince Marth caught his breathe he patted the angel on the shoulder. “Why the change?” Marth asked. “Are you secretly depressed? Are you sick or angry?”
Link added, “Or perhaps in love?”
The angel blushed profusely. “No! I am not!” Pit squeaked defensively. All the other men laughed hysterically.
Pit franctically tried to it cover up. “Like I said, I’m doing something different.”
“Sure you are.” King Hades cooed. “So, Pit, can you come help me with the menu items in the kitchen?” the Lord asked the angel.
Pit smiled. He was always happy to try food. “Sure!”
After the King and the Captain left Link and Marth, they snickered in amusement. “He is SO in love!” Link exclaimed.
“Like a victim of Cupid.” Marth agreed. “Jade told me that Calpurnia heard the fake conversation. Surely the silver-haired princess is going to take the bait.” He smiled triumphantly.
Link smiled. “If this works, like you said, we could be more powerful than Cupid.”
“No, Link, we are more powerful than Cupid.”
Just then Ike joined them. He looked uneasy. “Marth, my lord and brother, I need to speak with you and Link in private.” He spoke softly.
After they were rushed into a secluded spot Ike told them the “bad news.” “Link, I’m afraid your lady has been disloyal.”
Link’s eyes widened. “Who? Jade?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” Ike bowed his head. “I understand if you don’t trust me. But I can show you.
I bet the night before the wedding she will sleep with another man and not once have any regret or second thoughts.” Ike spat in disgust. “Will you come with me to see the truth?”
Link thought about it. Could Jade really be disloyal? Was Ike telling the truth?...
After battling with the storm of his inner thoughts Link came to a decision. “Fine.” Link said. There was a presence of fear, anger and uncertainty in his voice.
“But you better not be lying to me.” The blonde soldier growled.
“Of course, Link. I would never lie to you.” Ike said.
“And if what you say is true about Jade then I will not only refuse to marry her, I will expose her right then and there, and reveal her crimes to everyone.” Link clenched his fist. He didn’t want what Ike said to be true, but he had to be strong.
“And I will vouch for the truth, if it be one or the other.” Marth patted Link on the shoulder.
Ike may not have looked like it, but he was smiling on the inside.
He felt almost triumphant knowing that his brother and Link were falling for his charade. Everything was falling into place…
The night before the wedding Snake and Ike had executed their plan.
Ike was comforting Link and Marth while Snake went to go find Ganon. It didn’t take him long to find Ganon, he was on the night patrol.
“Ganon!” Snake called to his friend.
Ganon wondered why Snake was so happy. “What’s up?”
Thanatos, a close guard to Hades, was standing nearby. He made sure to be quiet so he could listen in.
Snake had a wide, triumphant grin on his face. “I think we finally broke up Jade and Link.” Ganon looked confused, so Snake elaborated.
“Here’s how it went. I dressed Samus up in Jade’s clothes and let me call her Jade. While we were doing it Ike brought Link and Marth by Jade’s bedroom to show that “Jade” was unfaithful. Link was so pissed that I could hear his stomping from the window.” He laughed.
“So you roleplayed with Samus to trick Link and Marth?”
“Yes.” Snake confirmed. “Ike told me every little detail. He put every ounce of his will power to prevent himself from doubling over laughing.
He did keep a straight face. But certainly not Link. Ike said he almost went nuts.”
“Yeah. Ike wasn’t sure if Link was heartbroken or angry. I mean, he was obviously both, but the look on his face though. I wish I was there to see it! Our plan to separate them at the dance didn’t work, but this plan sure as hell did! And I walked out of this whole thing 200 bucks richer.”
Thanatos overheard of Snake and Ganon’s treachery. He grew furious, not only did he have basic moral standards and a respect for love, he was also loyal to Hades, and by extent, loyal to Jade as well. Thanatos pulled out a pea shooter and shot both Snake and Ganon. The darts’ tip were covered with a paralyzing serum.
The guard towered over the two hooligans, looking down on them in rage. “If I didn’t know any better, this would be considered an act of treason!” Thanatos bellowed before tying and hand-cuffing both Snake and Ganon. “I’ll toss you in the dungeon ‘til King Hades can get a good look at you.” The guard said intimidatingly as he dragged the trouble-makers away.
The next morning, on the day of the wedding, Samus was helping Jade get ready for her big day.
They were talking about Jade’s wedding dress as Samus was doing the princess’s hair.
“Are you sure you want to wear that dress?” Samus asked Jade, concerned about her choices.
“Of course I do.” Jade replied with confidence. “I think it’s perfect.”
Samus turned her head briefly to look at the dress again. The dress was black with beaded lace hems going down to the floor.
It was strapless with a sweetheart neckline and a purple gem in the center of the chest. “But it really isn’t all that to look at.
It is pretty, but it just seems so underdone, like it’s not really fit for a princess’s wedding.”
“Well, it’s my wedding and Link’s wedding. My sister made me that dress, and I wear what I want and he wears what he wants.” Jade pouted.
An evil grin curled across Samus’s lips. “It doesn’t matter what you wear, he’s going to wanna take it off. Am I right?”
“SAMUS!!!” Jade squealed, blushing profusely.
“What? It’s the truth.” Samus said matter-of-factly.
“Have you no shame!?” Jade didn’t want to admit it but she was thinking the same thing.
“Have you no indoor voices? Shut the hell up.” Calpurnia groaned as she walked into the room. “You woke me up! Not like I was sleeping well anyway.”
“Good morning, sister dear.” Jade smiled. “What’s wrong? Eat too many moon pies last night?”
“I wish! I barely ate anything! I can’t sleep! My belly, my chest, and my head feels weird.” Calpurnia whined. “I think I’m getting sick.”
Her sister raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I think I know what the problem is.” Jade said.
“What is it?”
Jade smiled mischievously. “Love sickness!” Calpurnia blew her nose and threw the tissue at her sister, which was blocked by Samus.
After the blonde servant weaved crystals and violets into Jade’s intricate braid, the princess slipped on her beautiful dress.
“Anyway, it’s almost time for us to head to the temple. Can you zip me up?”
Calpurnia smiled and was happy to oblige. “You look so beautiful.” Calpurnia choked, tearing up a little.
Jade smiled just as widely as her sister did. “Thank you.”
Before Hades left to go to his daughter’s wedding Thanatos asked to meet with him. “What is it? I have a wedding to attend to?” Hades was clearly irritated.
“I got some hooligans last night who are a couple of traitors. They’re trying to sabotage the wedding.”
“Oh sure, just like the time you thought the chef tried to poison me? Or the time you thought the roses in the garden had poison on the thorns? Or the time one thought my OWN DAUGHTERS were planning to overthrow me?” Hades said, making his point.
Thanatos whined, “BUT THIS TIME IT’S DIFFERENT! I’M SERIOUS!!!”
“Look I don’t have time for this, just keep them in prison until I actually have the time to get a good look at them ok?”
“Yes your highness.” Thanatos sighed in defeat.
This content is intended for mature audiences.Sign In To Confirm Your Age
or, enter your birth date.